SummerSlam 2021 - PLEASE!!!! NO THT FOR THE TRIBAL CHIEF!!!

[MCWAY]

This is (I think) the first time in over 25 years that SummerSlam has been held on a day other than Sunday. Back in the day, it was always the last Monday of August.

The card looks great; but I'm squeamish about some things....or at least ONE!

WWE Universal Championship - Roman Reigns (c) vs. John Cena; Reigns leaves WWE if Cena wins title: That stipulation just got added last night on Smackdown during another "face to face" promo. Cena has been pushing this whole narrative that no matter how much Reigns pounds him, all he has to do is roll him up for a cheap 1-2-3.

Reigns got tired of it and told Cena that he's smashed many of his opponents to the point where WWE has no use for them (i.e. Wyatt, Strowman, Bryan). Cena isn't that special; Reigns can do Hollywood; he can do TV. So, the Tribal Chief decided to raise the stakes in Vegas. "Either I'm leaving that stadium with my Universal Championship; or, I'M LEAVING WWE!".

PLEASE DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!!! Reigns has been awesome this past year. Bringing Cena back to ruin this is LAME. But, I'm hoping for an "upset special" of sorts. Remember (per the storyline) who was supposed to face Reigns for the blue belt originally. A Finn Balor heel turn may come, one that costs Cena the match.

WWE World Championship - The Almighty Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Bill Goldberg. The mere fact that WWE is hinting at sacrificing its two best projects to a couple of over-the-hill guys who haven't wrestled in months or years is quite sickening. How does Oldberg get a title shot anyway? The last match he had, he LOST to Drew McIntyre, the same McIntyre that Lashley has owned for months.

The fact that WWE has to show Oldberg's OLD pics on the marquee when advertising this match tells you all you need to know. Oh, the angle is that he's doing it for his son..... the same lame reason they used to let him squash Lesnar nearly 5 years ago.

While I was shocked that both guys retained their belts at 'Mania, this just feels bad. Since I'm really pulling for Reigns to keep his gold, Lashley looks to be a casualty of this crap. I mean, he did get beat clean by Xavier Woods of New Day. Speaking of New Day, rumors were swirling that Big E was going to cash MITB on the WWE champion. But, this foolishness with Baron Corbin stealing E's case might put a damper on that.

WWE RAW Tag Team Championship - AJ Styles and Omos (c) vs. "RK-BRO" (Randy Orton and Matt Riddle): A classic case of school yard bullying gets told here. BTW, does WWE have tree from which they can pick 7-foot guys for mid carders? It's like Oprah: "YOU GET A SEVEN-FOOTER and YOU GET A SEVEN-FOOTER". Styles, Crews, Mahal, good GRIEF!!!

And while Orton doesn't play well with others (and doesn't like Riddle), he like Styles and his jolly black giant far less. SO why not take those straps away from those two goons, even if it means teaming with a twerp? Expect a big pop with Orton hitting Omos with an RKO....probably after a nut shot to the big guy.

WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship - The Usos (c) vs. Dominik and Rey Mysterio: - As this match goes, so goes my heart rate as to whether Reigns retains later tonight. "The Bloodline" is dripping in gold. But, "Main Event Jey Uso" is slowing turning back into "Which one are you?". He got the greatest push of his life, fighting his cousin last year (even got that ATG trophy at 'Mania).

I'll cross my fingers and pick the Usos to retain.

RAW Women's Championship (Triple Threat) - Nikki A.S.H. (c) vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte Flair: Everyone has jobbed to everyone else in this match on Raw so many times that I've lost count. But, here's another Upset Special finish: Flair puts the Figure 4 on Ripley, after "injuring" Ripley's knee for the 37th time. When Flair bridges for the Figure 8 looking away from her opponent, ASH will stop Ripley from tapping out and simply cover her for the 1-2-3. What better way for a pint-sized princess who looks like  Mystery Mix Now-and-Later candy to keep her title?

Smackdown Women's Championship - Bianca Belair (c) vs. Sasha Banks: I've had it with Miss Thang (Banks); Belair whipped her behind at 'Mania. I say she doubles up on it at SummerSlam.

WWE United States Championship - Sheamus (c) vs. Damien Priest: Even though he got shown up by Bad Bunny at WrestleMania, Damien Priest has been super-pushed. Plus, Sheamus (broken beak and all) is going nowhere fast. So, he may as well cough up that ugly-looking US title belt.

Seth Rollins vs. Edge: Apparently, Edge has decided to return to his Brood roots, using Gangrel's old music to give Rollins a "Broodbath" on Smackdown. Edge claimed that Rollins had made his blood turn BLACK; so the goo that got dropped on the Architect was black, not red. Edge even got to use his "Freaks come out at night" promo, the one that save the Brood, because Gangrel can't talk. Edge has taken too many Ls against Reigns; so, he'll beat Rollins tonight.

Drew McIntyre vs. Jinder Mahal: It's hard to believe that two-thirds of 3MB are former WWE champions (where are you, Heath Slater? You got kids!!). As mentioned earlier, Mahal got to pick his own 7-foot goon and had him and another lackey beat up McIntyre, costing him the MITB match. McIntyre just beat the henchmen on Raw, which means he gets Mahal one-on-one, and the henchmen banned from ringside. Unless the Maharaja brings Khali back, I think the Scottish Psycho gets it done.

Alexa Bliss vs. Eva Marie: I don't really care. But, since they went through the trouble of giving Bray Wyatt's gimmick to Bliss, she should beat Eva Marie, even with Eva's having Bertha Faye 2.0 in her corner.

[MCWAY]

Raw tag titles are up first!!

This was a Colossal Connection finish, of sorts. Keep beating on AJ Styles and keep Omos out. He did get into the ring and beat on Riddle for a while. But, once AJ tagged back into the ring, the strategy was to keep hitting Omos in the mouth while he was standing on the apron. Riddle kneed him in the jaw; Orton kept forearming him.

After a nasty chokeslam by Omos on Riddle, it looked bad. But, of course, Omos went for a running slam outside the ring and Riddle wiggled free, shoving Omos into the post. Styles hit the move of the match, however, with a somersault Slop-Drop on Riddle. The crowd loved it and Riddle was seeing tweety birds.

Inside the ring, a missed Phenomenal forearm, a blocked RKO, a cheap roll-up while pulling the tights by Styles, then WHAM!!! RKO, 1-2-3! New tag champs!!

Bliss and Eva Marie. YAWN!!!!   Bliss wins.

Now, it's the US title match.

A much more interesting bout than I imagined. Sheamus really worked this one, including slamming Priest into the post. But he kept clowning the entire match. For some reason, once Priest ripped off his nose guard, Sheamus lost his nerve....and later, he lost his belt.

[MCWAY]

Next on deck, It's bloodline time! Smackdown tag titles!!!

Usos are rocking some cool Polynesian flowers.

Now the Usos are mimicking Eddie Guerrero, which gives you the impression that they're setting themselves for failure. Dominik blocked the 3rd amigo and hit a half-hearted suplex of his own. Rey gets the hot tag and starts his flurry of offense. But, he just took a vicious kick to the mouth. After dodging a splash, he finally connects with the 619 and goes for a frog splash, Eddie-style, only to get knees to his gut. Two Nikes to the face later from the tag champs, Rey is on the wrong end of an Uso Splash and that's it.

[MCWAY]

Uh-OH!! Bad sign!! Smackdown Women's title and Belair comes out first.!!

HOLY BAIT AND SWTICH!!! First, Sasha Banks is announced as a no-show and Carmella is taking her place.

DOUBLE BAIT AND SWITCH!!! BECKY LYNCH RETURNS!!!! She beats up Carmella and apparently, it's Lynch and Belair for the belt!!

WHAT THE HECK!!! Lynch went for the handshake, and cheap-shotted Belair, hit a powerslam and just won the title!!!

Now for the letdown, of sorts, Mahal and McIntyre.

[MCWAY]

McIntyre wins it. Now for the Raw Women's title....again it's a bad sign that Nikki ASH comes out first.

Why didn't they have Becky Lynch appear in this match and make it a Fatal-4-Way, considering that Becky was Raw women's champ when she gave the title to Asuka, who lost to Ripley, who lost to Flair, who got cashed by Nikki ASH.

This was a much better match than I thought. Of course, when the crowd is cheering for Flair and booing ASH, this was a done deal. And it is. Flair wins again.

Now comes the only non-title match worth watching, Edge and Rollins.

OH SNAP!! Edge brought back Gangrel's old entrance, fire and all, before his normal music hit. Edge's Rated-R logo are a blood red. And when you're giving up size and height to Edge, you're not that big of a dude.

They're selling this neck stuff too much. Seth keep bashing Edge's head into the steps and hitting him with swinging neck breakers.

OH BOY!! Now, Edge hits a swinging neck breaker from the top rope and Seth is wiggling like a dying fish.

Now, I've only seen Rollins win once with the Superplex/Falcon's Arrow combo. But, of course, it's a near fall here.

Curb-stomp time....WAIT!!! NO HE DIDN'T!! Edge used his wife's finisher and nearly beat the Architect. Well, he jacked Gangrel's moves; so why not use one from the Mrs?

Another neck breaker on the ropes for Rollins. He missed the curb stomp and gets speared through the ropes. JUST GREAT!! Edge just short-circuited the LED screen on the ring with Rollins' head.

Now, Edge is going for the spear. WHAM!!! Rollins hit him with a pedigree, THE EXACT WAY he beat Reigns for the WWE world title in 2016. But, no cigar tonight!! Rollins went for a corkscrew moonsault, missed it, and got SPEARED!!! But no three-count for Edge.

Whose moves hasn't Edge use? The Sharpshooter? Benoit's Crossface? Rollins smiles when he escapes the crossface, only to get his head slammed in the mat 10 times for his trouble. Edge puts it back onto Rollins and Rollins said no more!!!

[MCWAY]

Comic relief from Miz, Morrison, and Xavier Woods. Up next, World title is at stake.

What's this? Goldberg with a flying shoulder block; then a scoop slam, Now, a power slam!

And Goldberg is getting booed. Lashley went for a jackhammer and missed. Goldberg tried it and got Russian leg swept.

For some reason, The Almighty went to the top only to get powerslammed from the top. Goldberg went for the spear but MVP makes the save......only for Lashley to get speared outside the ring.

Goldberg goes for the finish again; Lashley rolls outsider the ring and MVP whacks Oldberg in the leg with his cane, which ol' Bill hardly sells...BUT he gets chop-blocked by the champion.

Apparently, the fans ain't down with Seniors' day, because Lashley is getting the applause and after one mega chokeslam, it's hurt-lock time!! Goldberg escapes and rolls from the ring; but he just got scooped and slammed into the post...TWICE!!!

Now, Oldberg's knee is SHOT!!!  The ref just called it. But, Lashley has a chair and it's tenderizing time!!!

WHAT!! Goldberg's son jumped on Lashley's back, only to get the Hurt-Lock put on him.

[MCWAY]

And now, the BIG ONE!!!

Cena has a Super Mario Bros 3 type shirt with his 16 titles on the back and a "16up" mushroom.

Roman walks out with the Usos but sent them back. But, there's no pyro but smoke for Roman's entrance....a bad omen.

Again, if Reigns loses (or doesn't walk out champion), he leaves WWE.

Cena has tried three rollups to frustrate Reigns. But, Reigns keeps talking smack after elbowing and pounding Cena in the mush. He's threatening to beat up the crowd. And, as usual, "Let's Go, Cena; Cena Sucks!!"

A little outside flurry, only for Cena to go splat into the steps. And now ANOTHER ROLL-UP!! on Reigns after posting with his belt outside the ring.

Cena went for the AA but got DDT'ed. But, Roman keep gloating and talking smack, apologizing to Hollywood for beating up Cent. He even called him "Big 5 moves". Cena's clutching the champion's leg and Reigns is letting him have it, BEG The Tribal Chief!!! WOOPS!! Another ROLLUP.....Now Cena is in a sleeper!!

He breaks it and it's the shoulder tackle sequence......He went for the "You can't see me" but got guillotined. But, a jackknife cover forces the break. Now comes the AA and a TWO COUNT!!!

STF....but Reigns gets to the ropes. Reigns rolled out and limped to the apron but quickly hit a "Drive-By" dropkick to Cena's face.

Roman tried to spear Cena outside but got AA'ed into the table. Cena chucked Reigns in the ring as quickly as he could. But, Reigns barely kicked out. Cena went to the top, only to get power bombed on the way down.

Reigns tried the first Superman punch, got rolled up again, but connected on second try for a two count.

Oh NO!!! Roman's setting up for the spear. We know how this goes. He screams; he charges, and he misses!! Actually, he hits the post. Now Cena goes for a SUPER AA!! NO!!!! Reigns escapes!!!

OK!! Now Cena's talking smack and he does Reign's tribal scream!! Now comes the "boo", Yay!!" chants when Reigns and Cena respectively connect with their punches.  Reigns hits two superman punches, declares, "I AM WWE!!"

He does the Tribal Scream....THIS TIME he hits the spear and the 1-2-3.

WOW!!! GUESS WHO!!! BROCK LESNAR!!

But Reigns will live to fight another day!! What is this? Every time Reigns beats somebody, another guy shows up after the match.

He beat Daniel Bryan, Cesaro shows up. He beats Edge; Cena shows up.

Now, he beats Cena, fair and square, here comes Lesnar.