i'm going to be 45 and i still don't have a real career?!

[Tom]

hi! okay, so i'm going thru mid life crisis. soon i will be 45 later this summer and i still don't have what i consider a real career making real good money!

is it too late for me or what?! seriously!

background: i fucked around for alot of years, dropping out of school before going back 13 years later to get a b.a. in communications graduating in 2001! thinking i wanted to be in the film industry as an executive for a studio or production company. was in l.a. for a few years doing the peon jobs as production assistants and office assistants working my ass off 12 hour days dealing with 99 percent assholes and doing things that if i was 18 i would do but once you get to be a grown man ( i swear at my late 30's i must have been the oldest p.a./office asst. ever!) you cannot do! (i.e. picking up dog poop! getting yelled at for copying a script and page 62 is sticking out one millimeter!, etcetera, etcetera!)


left california in late 2003 so sickened and disgusted by that industry i didn't want anything to do with tv,film,radio or anything media related. so i guess my degree in communications was a waste people tell me?

so, back in 2005/2006 thought i should try to get a job in a "real" profession/career that there is a demand for, so i thought physical therapist like perhaps working for a sports team someday. then i found out that you have to go to school for like 6 years and get a doctorate degree to be a physical therapist! at my age 6 years is like 12! also the fact that i have a bachelor's degree already meant that i would have to get school loans and no grants! so were talking 20,000 a year or so for 6 years! no way! i already owe 30,000.00 from my previous school loans!  i would be paying of school loans when i'm supposed to be saving up money to retire on! literally!

so then i thought "hmm, maybe i'll just be a physical therapy assistant as my full time job since the training is only 2 years and i wouldn't owe anywhere near the amount of school loans if i became a full fledge therapist and that perhaps for a couple of hours in the evening i could be a personal trainer at my gym and in the long run, working as a  physical therapy asst and personal trainer i would make as much money as a therapist in the long run....

so, i started going to school to be a physical therapy assistant, however i soon realized a few things 1) it was harder than i thought it was going to be 2) all my instructors told me that for the first few years at least i would end up working at a nursing home or something like that before i ever got to work (if ever) a sports team and 3) i realized that physical therapy assistants don't make that much money perhaps somewhere in the vicinity of 13.00 to 18.00 bucks an hour! even if you do it for 20,30 years! that sucks! so i dropped out!....

now, i'm working only part time as a manager at a recreational center in the midwest hating it, the pay sucks and there is no chance for me to move up and i hate everyone i work with! and since it's only part time i'm actually living with my brother which while i love him, it sucks that i'm a grown man and living this way. meanwhile, he's 5 years younger than me, has a wife and 2 small kids and a nice house and he went to one, that is 1 semester of junior college and dropped out but years ago, he had a friend who had a friend who got him this job making surgical tools and so he wears a lab coat and has a desk and a microscope and now makes 60,000.00 a year doing that? and i'm the smart and educated one?! go figure!

so now, i'm sitting here thinking : where do i go from here? granted, i look alot younger and act alot younger than almost 45, but i'm still my age you know! and i'm tired of being poor and struggling and now with the economy the way it is nationwide, i'm searching for answers!!!!!!!!!!

part of me is thinking, it's too late for me to have a real successful high paying career because 1) i would have to go to school for something medical or finance like and i really don't care to do anything in those fields and 2) at my age i can't go back to school for 4 to 6 years and 3) i'm getting to that age that people wont' hire me because of my age although that's discrimination it's also reality they want to hire some young 20something guy

ive lately been thinking about what i'm good at and that's writing and talking and since i have a communications degree people tell me i should look into radio like i would be a great radio d.j. or radio talk show host, since i have the voice and personality for it, and since i like to write i could also at the same time perhaps write a column, or do a movie review column for a newspaper or free lance for magazines on topics that i care about those being: entertainment, sports, fitness, travel,etc)

but while i can see myself doing these things, and know i could do them, they don't seem to be in much demand and the competition is tough for these jobs in the first place. also, unlike so an accountant you have to go and live where these jobs are....

i want to move back to california, preferably orange county or north san diego county, and a radio/writing career there seems i don't know...?  i mean what if there are no jobs there, then what?

also, anywhere in california is soooo expensive i don't even know if i could afford it working a radio job, writing and perhaps very part time like 10 hours a week some personal training? so unlike like i said if your an accountant those jobs are available everywhere! could not imagine though being an office worker, cubicle, wearing a suit everyday kind of guy, how horrible is that!

totally not my personality! i like my personal freedom and individuality too much to have a normal 9 to 5 job!

so for those of you who have read all of my venting and frustration so far (seriously thanks!) where do i go and what is your advice?

should i give up my dreams and go back to school even if only for 2 years and get some masters degree in a field that there is a demand for and that you make money in? finance, business admininistration, medical. (although i don't really care for any of this?) or ....

should i go for it and have faith in myself and screw my chronical age since i feel and look and act a decade younger and go after what i think i want to do and can do meaning the radio personality gigs, writing and some part time personal training and  hope i can make a decent not struggling living in california?

thanks for your time and your serious advice! take care!

[Montague]

What do you like doing?
Is there a way to make money doing it?

If you’re considering 2 more years of education, find out the probability of a payoff. A masters in COMM may not get you much farther than a BS in COMM.

Healthcare will always be around, and hence there will always be a demand for healthcare workers.
Lots of Allied Health fields have 2-year programs offering certificates or associate degrees. Diagnostic imaging is big in a lot of places, and nursing is often a hotbed.

If looking to move back to CA, consider a certificate in surgical technology. Pay rate might be a bit higher in the cosmetic surgery field – something to look into.

Graduating in 2001, your credits ought to still be transferable, so you’d probably need to take fewer classes to earn an additional degree/certificate, which equates to a lower tuition bill and more time to work and study.

If you have a good voice, then when you go back to CA, look for some auditions for voice work in commercials and film/cartoons. Could be a decent source of (at least) supplemental income. Maybe look for an agent who has some industry contacts and may be able to book you some casting calls.
If you like sports and are the type who’s quick & knowledgeable enough to call a game, talk to some people about entry level play-by-play work. If you’re able to inject some personality and “color” that people like, radio personalities can do quite well for themselves.
You’d probably like some of these industries a lot more being away from the administrative end of things.

Bottom line is that focus is good – you need that – but don’t put all of your eggs in one basket, either.
Always investigate before jumping into anything.

And above all, remain positive AND realistic.

[pedro01]

http://www.amazon.com/What-Color-Your-Parachute-2009/dp/1580089305/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242658055&sr=8-1

A good book - helps you to figure out what you want and then gives you some fairly neat & non-mainstream methods of getting there.

The first job I ever got was at 18 - a programmers job. They wanted a graduate. I saw the ad, I knew I couldn't apply through the ad as I didn't have the qualificaitons. I found out the name of the IT manager & wrote to them & explained I was looking to get in to IT and asked if they had any opportunities (which of course, I knew they did). They roped me into the aptitude tests with the graduates & I ended up getting the job, mainly because they thought I'd shown initiative. Well - I had shown initiative, just not the sort they thought I was showing.

Good luck.

[The ChemistV2]

hi! okay, so i'm going thru mid life crisis. soon i will be 45 later this summer and i still don't have what i consider a real career making real good money!

is it too late for me or what?! seriously!

background: i fucked around for alot of years, dropping out of school before going back 13 years later to get a b.a. in communications graduating in 2001! thinking i wanted to be in the film industry as an executive for a studio or production company. was in l.a. for a few years doing the peon jobs as production assistants and office assistants working my ass off 12 hour days dealing with 99 percent assholes and doing things that if i was 18 i would do but once you get to be a grown man ( i swear at my late 30's i must have been the oldest p.a./office asst. ever!) you cannot do! (i.e. picking up dog poop! getting yelled at for copying a script and page 62 is sticking out one millimeter!, etcetera, etcetera!)


left california in late 2003 so sickened and disgusted by that industry i didn't want anything to do with tv,film,radio or anything media related. so i guess my degree in communications was a waste people tell me?

so, back in 2005/2006 thought i should try to get a job in a "real" profession/career that there is a demand for, so i thought physical therapist like perhaps working for a sports team someday. then i found out that you have to go to school for like 6 years and get a doctorate degree to be a physical therapist! at my age 6 years is like 12! also the fact that i have a bachelor's degree already meant that i would have to get school loans and no grants! so were talking 20,000 a year or so for 6 years! no way! i already owe 30,000.00 from my previous school loans!  i would be paying of school loans when i'm supposed to be saving up money to retire on! literally!

so then i thought "hmm, maybe i'll just be a physical therapy assistant as my full time job since the training is only 2 years and i wouldn't owe anywhere near the amount of school loans if i became a full fledge therapist and that perhaps for a couple of hours in the evening i could be a personal trainer at my gym and in the long run, working as a  physical therapy asst and personal trainer i would make as much money as a therapist in the long run....

so, i started going to school to be a physical therapy assistant, however i soon realized a few things 1) it was harder than i thought it was going to be 2) all my instructors told me that for the first few years at least i would end up working at a nursing home or something like that before i ever got to work (if ever) a sports team and 3) i realized that physical therapy assistants don't make that much money perhaps somewhere in the vicinity of 13.00 to 18.00 bucks an hour! even if you do it for 20,30 years! that sucks! so i dropped out!....

now, i'm working only part time as a manager at a recreational center in the midwest hating it, the pay sucks and there is no chance for me to move up and i hate everyone i work with! and since it's only part time i'm actually living with my brother which while i love him, it sucks that i'm a grown man and living this way. meanwhile, he's 5 years younger than me, has a wife and 2 small kids and a nice house and he went to one, that is 1 semester of junior college and dropped out but years ago, he had a friend who had a friend who got him this job making surgical tools and so he wears a lab coat and has a desk and a microscope and now makes 60,000.00 a year doing that? and i'm the smart and educated one?! go figure!

so now, i'm sitting here thinking : where do i go from here? granted, i look alot younger and act alot younger than almost 45, but i'm still my age you know! and i'm tired of being poor and struggling and now with the economy the way it is nationwide, i'm searching for answers!!!!!!!!!!

part of me is thinking, it's too late for me to have a real successful high paying career because 1) i would have to go to school for something medical or finance like and i really don't care to do anything in those fields and 2) at my age i can't go back to school for 4 to 6 years and 3) i'm getting to that age that people wont' hire me because of my age although that's discrimination it's also reality they want to hire some young 20something guy

ive lately been thinking about what i'm good at and that's writing and talking and since i have a communications degree people tell me i should look into radio like i would be a great radio d.j. or radio talk show host, since i have the voice and personality for it, and since i like to write i could also at the same time perhaps write a column, or do a movie review column for a newspaper or free lance for magazines on topics that i care about those being: entertainment, sports, fitness, travel,etc)

but while i can see myself doing these things, and know i could do them, they don't seem to be in much demand and the competition is tough for these jobs in the first place. also, unlike so an accountant you have to go and live where these jobs are....

i want to move back to california, preferably orange county or north san diego county, and a radio/writing career there seems i don't know...?  i mean what if there are no jobs there, then what?

also, anywhere in california is soooo expensive i don't even know if i could afford it working a radio job, writing and perhaps very part time like 10 hours a week some personal training? so unlike like i said if your an accountant those jobs are available everywhere! could not imagine though being an office worker, cubicle, wearing a suit everyday kind of guy, how horrible is that!

totally not my personality! i like my personal freedom and individuality too much to have a normal 9 to 5 job!

so for those of you who have read all of my venting and frustration so far (seriously thanks!) where do i go and what is your advice?

should i give up my dreams and go back to school even if only for 2 years and get some masters degree in a field that there is a demand for and that you make money in? finance, business admininistration, medical. (although i don't really care for any of this?) or ....

should i go for it and have faith in myself and screw my chronical age since i feel and look and act a decade younger and go after what i think i want to do and can do meaning the radio personality gigs, writing and some part time personal training and  hope i can make a decent not struggling living in california?

thanks for your time and your serious advice! take care!

Well, I'm 46 but I'd say it's been in the last 2 years things have really taken off. I got into forex (foreign currency trading) ..learned a lot about it. I found an automated trading program, I came up with some strategies. Now I program it..it trades while I sleep.. A lot of mornings I wake up and it's made $10,000.00 while I slept. My story isn't typical, but shows you can find stuff after 40. I will never work for anyone again. Stay positive and don't worry about your age. Nothing wrong with being a late bloomer.

[G.R.H.]

YOU THINK YOU HAVE A PATHETIC LIFESTYLE! I JUST TURND 41 TODAY, I STILL LIVE AT HOME CAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD TO LIVE ON MY OWN IN THE STATE OF NJ, I ONLY MAKE $13.10 AN HOUR, AND I HAVE NO GIRLFRIEND, WIFE, CHILDREN, AND CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN I GOT LAID LAST! SOMEBODY JUST PUMP A FEW ROUNDS OF BULLETS INTO MT CHEST CAVITY AND GET IT OVER WITH!

[gordiano]

YOU THINK YOU HAVE A PATHETIC LIFESTYLE! I JUST TURND 41 TODAY, I STILL LIVE AT HOME CAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD TO LIVE ON MY OWN IN THE STATE OF NJ, I ONLY MAKE $13.10 AN HOUR, AND I HAVE NO GIRLFRIEND, WIFE, CHILDREN, AND CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN I GOT LAID LAST! SOMEBODY JUST PUMP A FEW ROUNDS OF BULLETS INTO MT CHEST CAVITY AND GET IT OVER WITH!

King....you still have that Muscle-Tech contract right? Oh wait.....

[Ganuvanx]

Hey man,

A good suggestion is water treatment. 1 easy year in school will get you a job as a water treatment operator. They are in demand and starting pay is real good ~50k. I've been doing it for 2 years and made 61k last year. It's relaxing working with water too.

[Montague]

Hey man,

A good suggestion is water treatment. 1 easy year in school will get you a job as a water treatment operator. They are in demand and starting pay is real good ~50k. I've been doing it for 2 years and made 61k last year. It's relaxing working with water too.

The sound of water is almost hypnotic to me - I’d probably fall asleep my first shift.
That sounds like a cool job, though.

What kinds of places offer the training? Is it through a trade school or an apprenticeship program?
Do you work for the DOE or the water company?

[Ganuvanx]

The sound of water is almost hypnotic to me - I’d probably fall asleep my first shift.
That sounds like a cool job, though.

What kinds of places offer the training? Is it through a trade school or an apprenticeship program?
Do you work for the DOE or the water company?

Many small local colleges offer 1 year courses in water treatment. We currently have 2 summer students both in their 40's who have changed careers. I work for a municipality that serves about 1 million people. The good thing about water treatment is that its the same no matter what country you go. I'm thinking about doing a one year exchange with a guy from a treatment plant in Australia if my boss OK's it. It's very easy work too so you can do it into you late 60s if you don't have sufficient pension saved. The guy I started with was in his 50s and didn't have a penny saved for his pension but now has no worries.

[Migs]

Hey man,

A good suggestion is water treatment. 1 easy year in school will get you a job as a water treatment operator. They are in demand and starting pay is real good ~50k. I've been doing it for 2 years and made 61k last year. It's relaxing working with water too.

i'd either fall asleep to the sound, or have to pee constantly lol

[ATHEIST]

You have a degree right? get your teaching certificate and teach, you can have a job in any state you want. granted the pay isnt that great but its good enough and you'll have more freedom. also being that youre a "young" 45, you'll interact with your students a lot better than most teachers..

[Option D]

one word...4 letters...porn

[Parker]

one word...4 letters...porn

ahh, porn no medical benefits? Still, basically having a career anymore is up in the air...Either the companies will  force you to retire or they will fire you. Most young people in the companies want to see upward mobility by a yr, if not they'll leave. Or should I say when the economy was good...Basically I have a job, but at my salary I cannot get my DAMN BMW M3 

[Option D]

ahh, porn no medical benefits? Still, basically having a career anymore is up in the air...Either the companies will  force you to retire or they will fire you. Most young people in the companies want to see upward mobility by a yr, if not they'll leave. Or should I say when the economy was good...Basically I have a job, but at my salary I cannot get my DAMN BMW M3 

well you do porn too...porn is the answer...thats what im gettin at bro..stay strong

[Hulkster]

Hey man,

A good suggestion is water treatment. 1 easy year in school will get you a job as a water treatment operator. They are in demand and starting pay is real good ~50k. I've been doing it for 2 years and made 61k last year. It's relaxing working with water too.

agreed. I am on the wastewater side of things, but in two years I was able to save for a downpayment and bought a house. its a pretty well paying job, and it will never ever go away. 40h per week is standard, most jobs will have good benefits too, and some (like myself) are unionized. I work for municipal government..

where there are people, they will always need clean water and treated wastewater.

its fairly recession proof..

its a good career IMO.

[elite_lifter]

YOU THINK YOU HAVE A PATHETIC LIFESTYLE! I JUST TURND 41 TODAY, I STILL LIVE AT HOME CAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD TO LIVE ON MY OWN IN THE STATE OF NJ, I ONLY MAKE $13.10 AN HOUR, AND I HAVE NO GIRLFRIEND, WIFE, CHILDREN, AND CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN I GOT LAID LAST! SOMEBODY JUST PUMP A FEW ROUNDS OF BULLETS INTO MT CHEST CAVITY AND GET IT OVER WITH!

Holy shit!

[elite_lifter]

Hey man,

A good suggestion is water treatment. 1 easy year in school will get you a job as a water treatment operator. They are in demand and starting pay is real good ~50k. I've been doing it for 2 years and made 61k last year. It's relaxing working with water too.

That was good.

[sync pulse]

I was an electrical engineering major in school.  I played at the university radio station.  In doing so, made some contacts who later went on into local broadcasting.  Its very much harder now, most university radio stations are now professionally run.
 I was laid off from a 24 year job with a broadcasting company in September, and even with being in broadcasting all that time, not one station even acknowledged my resume.  You will almost certainly have to search outside of your hometown. But then, I didn't want to relocate because of my mother.  Pay scales outside of the top ten markets are discouragingly low.
 Over the air broadcasting is going to be going through some turbulence in the near future.  This is mostly due to a new ratings technology called "personal people meters", which hasn't got the personal biases that was inherent with the old diary method of ratings.  This technology is revealing that the audience for over the air broadcasting is lower than was thought previously.  So if the audiences are smaller, the advertising revenue is correspondingly smaller, with less money for staff.
Try the websites called 'tvjobs.com',and 'tab.org'.  Most TV and radio stations also have job listings as part of their websites.

[Stubborn]

Sorry to hear it, Tom. I think that all you can ever do is figure out what you like to do, or are remotely interested in, and dive into some aspect of that. There is no quick solution but a couple fields that can pay out are law enforcement and medical. Either of these can be broken into relatively quickly too. I would look into state trooper, local PD, and even homeland security. The CIA is actually advertising positions on the radio and I know two people who walked right in (one a cop and the other with a BA degree). These are jobs that will always be needed. Also, working in anything pertaining to medicine would be a very smart move. Great benefits, pay, and flexible schedules if you choose right.

All the best.

[sync pulse]

Most law enforcement won't take recruits over 36 years old...

[Option D]

porn

[RJ DRIVER]

Well, I'm 46 but I'd say it's been in the last 2 years things have really taken off. I got into forex (foreign currency trading) ..learned a lot about it. I found an automated trading program, I came up with some strategies. Now I program it..it trades while I sleep.. A lot of mornings I wake up and it's made $10,000.00 while I slept. My story isn't typical, but shows you can find stuff after 40. I will never work for anyone again. Stay positive and don't worry about your age. Nothing wrong with being a late bloomer.

Can you give me any helpful hints on the forex?  Who do you trade with?

[MP]

Dude, I feel for you, I really do. I'll be 40 next year. I have a well paying job, wife and kids. I'm blessed. But I view my job as just that, a job. Not a career. I could see myself somewhere else in two years ... just like every other job I've ever held.

Only you can figure out what's next.

I don't want to be rude, but I'm going to give it to you straight. Writing isn't your strong suit, at least proper capitalization. So, it's safe to say, you can scratch that off your list.

Good luck.

[240 is Back]

has anyone mentioned porn yet?

[BayGBM]

Someone just brought this thread to my attention and asked me to comment.


Tom:

I hate to tell you what you already know but…  yes, it is too late to have a “real successful high paying career.”  At 45 you should not be taking out student loans.  In fact, you should already have anywhere between $100K and $500K in one or more retirement accounts (401K, 403b, Roth IRA, etc.) and that amount should be increasing rapidly as you get older.  In reading your post above, a couple things really stand out.

1) You appear to jump in and out of occupations without any real commitment to them or a real understanding of what the work entails.  That is no way to build a career.

2)  You also appear preoccupied with the fact that you are pushing 45 but “act alot younger.”  Has it occurred to you that this may be your problem?  Stop acting “younger” and start acting like an adult.  Young people “fuck around for alot of years” adults have a future orientation and make sacrifices that pay off in the long run.

The realist in me says, you have made your bed, now lay in it; the optimist in me says all is not lost.  It is still possible to secure your future.

-- as someone suggested, with your degree you could become certified to teach in a local school district.  No one gets rich being a teacher, but I think most people would agree that teaching is a more respectable profession than “working only part time as a manager at a recreational center.”  Good school districts require all teachers to eventually get a master’s degree at some point in their career.  But the district may have many options surrounding this requirement including helping you pay for the degree.

-- assuming you are very attractive with a killer bod (presumably you have been building your body all these years) you could pair up with a successful companion and build a life with that person.  Sure, you would be the junior partner/trophy in the relationship, but would that really be a worse fate than the life you are living right now?

-- you could write your way out!  You claim to be a good communicator and writer (though your post above calls that into question).    Writing is something you can do right now—today—with no additional training or cost.  Just one good novel could put you on the map and secure your future.  Dan Brown literally became a billionaire with The Da Vinci Code. J. K. Rowling did the same thing with her Harry Potter books.  Their billion dollar pay days do not even include income from the film rights to their books.  But know that writing (especially a novel) requires more than imagination.  You must be able to focus on the writing project over many months or even years!  Can you do that?  Even then your novel must be good! 

As you noted above, California is expensive!  Unless you have a suitcase full of money, moving back here in your present state would be utter folly.  You appear to disdain the idea of being an office worker, sitting in a cubicle, and wearing a suit every day.  Would doing that (and building a future) really be more “horrible” than the future you are facing right now?  What will you do when your brother eventually puts you out?  No matter how much he loves you, you can bet he doesn’t want you living with him in perpetuity... 

It sounds like you want a 9-5, suit wearing income without doing what it takes to earn that income.  As I said previously, it is time to stop acting a lot younger and start acting like an adult.